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Anyone who has ever sat next to someone eating a hot burger on a packed commuter train, or had their elbow slowly edged off an armrest by a determined neighbour, will know that public transport brings out the full range of human behaviour. Most of us muddle through on instinct, but etiquette experts have some rather clear views on where the lines are.

 

The armrest question is a perennial one. On a plane, the general consensus is that the person in the middle seat of a three-seat row gets both armrests. On a bus or train, William Hanson, director of The English Manner, suggests thinking of it as "an armrest, not an elbow rest," which means there's usually enough for two if you're reasonable about it.

 

On reclining seats, if the seat goes back, you're entitled to use it. Just do it slowly and check what's behind you first. "Make sure you're not going to spill someone's drinks on their lap," advises Rupert Wesson of Debrett's. And don't recline during food service.

 

Feet on seats? "Absolutely not," says Laura Akano of Polished Manners. "It's not an extension of your living room."

 

On the subject of manspreading, Hanson has a simple rule of thumb. "Nothing bigger than a tennis ball between your knees." If someone near you hasn't got that memo, a subtle knee nudge often does the job without a word being said.

 

Someone playing music without headphones is one of the most common irritants on public transport. Hanson has a method he's tried once and rather enjoyed. "You say, 'Excuse me, I don't think your headphones are plugged in.' When they reply, 'Oh, no, I don't have headphones on,' you say, 'Ah, that explains it.' It's very passive-aggressive, like much of the etiquette British people use."

 

Then there's the sleeping neighbour who starts drooling on you. Hanson has a script for this too, delivered with characteristic composure. "I would touch his elbow or shoulder and say, 'I'm so sorry, but you were drooling on me.' Stick to the facts. Make light of it if you have to. He'll probably be absolutely mortified. Say, 'Oh, it's no big deal. I just thought I'd intervene before I get soaked.'" Snoring, on the other hand, is something you simply have to endure.

 

For chatty strangers on a long journey, Akano advises being polite at first, then reaching for your phone or book. "When you do that, most people tend to stop talking." If not, she says, pretend it's your stop and move carriages.

 

Hot food with a strong smell is firmly off the menu. Hanson is particularly exercised about citrus fruit. "An orange or a tangerine is one of the most antisocial things you can eat," he says. On a crowded commuter service, his rule is simple: "Nothing bigger than a piece of candy."

 

Alcohol is more nuanced. On a long journey where drinks are served, it's fine. Just be aware that if you're with someone else, "you'll probably get a little louder, because that's what happens to everyone when we drink," notes Wesson.

 

Offering your seat remains important, but do it quietly. "Don't make a scene; just try to get the person's attention," says Wesson. Have your ticket or payment ready before you reach the barrier. And if the person next to you falls asleep and looks like they're about to miss their stop, wake them gently. The taxi home will cost them far more than the train ticket.

 

Public transport is essentially a shared exercise in tolerance between strangers who didn't choose each other. Follow these unwritten rules and everyone arrives in reasonable shape. The golden rule, as ever, is simple: treat the seat, the space and the strangers around you the way you'd want them to treat you. Unless they're eating a tangerine, in which case all bets are off.

 

Image: AI generated